I am not sure what mojo I had going on, but in one day I received no less than four penis pics on social media.
This was a new experience for me.
I have received unwanted friend requests, marriage proposals and male advances through social media (and in person) but no eggplant images.
I have to say it was a SHOCK.
A friend of mine says a flaccid penis looks a little like the Sesame Street character Grover, perhaps the least sexy Sesame Street character!
Apparently, I am not alone in receiving dick pics.
I joked on my personal Facebook page that I had “made it” as I was now receiving unsolicited creep show images and a LOT of women commented that they had been on the receiving end of such bad behavior too.
The thing about unwanted attention and bad behavior is disturbing and subtle way it can erode a woman’s feeling of safety, sexuality and even autonomy.
I have to be honest that I felt “violated”, targeted and angry…Not great aphrodisiacs.
I felt a little triggered too.
“WTF guys? Are you totally fucking mental?”
I have worked hard to claim my sexuality and create a kick ass sex life where I feel both autonomous and adored and where I can be taken fully by a man I love and trust.
I could feel the old fear of “danger” arise that day. I am not sure if these pics are intended to intimidate, but I felt a moment of that.
“Did I somehow invite this?
“Are my photos too sexy, provocative?
“Am I giving off a vibe that I want this?…ie. coming across as a “whore”?
Women have been blamed for bad male behavior for centuries.
We tend to internalize that. We also tend to RAGE the fuck over it (for good reason), but I don’t want to do either.
Like 99% of all women I know, I have experienced sexual abuse and trauma, but I don’t want to live in that trauma.
I love men.
I love sex.
I love to be a radiant woman out in the world…
So, I took a deep breath. Looked at my husband, and said “They really don’t compare to you.”
I laughed, then I moved the FUCK ON!
I also took a moment to FEEL my own power as a woman –sexual, sensual, autonomous and totally alive. No soft penis can take that away.
I REFUSE to hide, shrink or feel victimized from a couple of flaccid cocks on Instagram.
There is always going to be ridiculous behavior, and weirdos who have zero social skills, and every now and then I am going to meet up with them…but it has NOTHING to do with me.
So, if you are woman who somehow felt ashamed, shrunken or even mad as fuck at the RIDICULOUSNESS we still face, you are not alone.
But, I also invite you to consider how many gorgeous, powerful, and GREAT men are in your life.
I believe there is a revolution happening between men and women, and I want to be at the forefront of that which means taking responsibility for my reactions and my healing. Want to join me?
And, here’s to great men who know when to keep it in their pants!
Best-selling author, sensualist and unapologetic lover of leopard print
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