Category Archives: It’s All Relationship

changing reality, fast, in any relationship

“I need to know one simple way I can create better connection with my wife, fast.”


A perfect question during a recent media interview. 


Whether you are in partnership or not, this brief article will help you create an amazing reality in ANY relationship so read on…


Listen, we all want to know how to create new results quickly – to change reality and get what we really want, especially in our relationships I believe.


This, however, requires a shift in how we think, feel and act – not just another communication technique.


One of the fastest ways to re-pattern your brain and create lasting results in relationships is to LOOK FOR THE GOOD.




This is the answer I gave the podcast host who asked how to create connection, fast.


“Look for the good.


“Look for something to get turned on about.


“Be someone who can ‘turn on’ your partner.”


It is easy to look for reasons to complain and criticize another in any relationship, particularly our intimate relationship. It’s a disease of dysfunction in our culture – all the complaining…


To make it worse, we get comfortable in intimate relationship and that comfort can lead to complacency and even meanness. People often reserve the bitchiest, snappiest comments for their spouse. 


But, if you want to create rich relationships you will remember in any moment things can be as good as you want them to be or as bad.


What will you choose?


Will you look for the good? 


For me, I look at my husband and business partner, Ian, and see all the physical things I love about him – his eyes, his wide shoulders, his wonderful style.


I also see all the mental, emotional and spiritual things I love about him too – he is one of the smartest people I know (and smarts turns me on), he always has a unique view that I miss, he is generous and brings out the best in people. He is also extremely dedicated and loving, and taught me to be better at both.


Does he annoy me at times?


You betcha.  I annoy him too. 


We rub each other the wrong way at times. But, if we nurtured those annoyances, we would destroy this relationship pretty fast.


Instead, we seek to find the good in each other.


We also take personal responsibility to make it easy for the other person to find the good too.


We take care of ourselves physically, emotionally and spiritually so we show up well for ourselves and the one we love.


As we move into 2020 can you decide to make it a habit to look for the good – in the one you love, and everyone?


Can you commit to making it easy for others to see the good in you?


By the way this does NOT mean ignoring things in yourself or your relationship that need to be addressed or changed. Get the help to do so. Stop ignoring things, but stop just complaining about them too. 


Take action.


In fact, this re-patterning will actually help you see opportunities, new realities and maybe even what you really want because your mind will be more open thanks to gratitude. 


If you want to get help to truly learn to master your results, reach out.


I offer support for those who want to have “unconventional” results in business and love.


I can help you learn to master your results and SKYROCKET in every area.


Click the box below, and complete the quick questionnaire and book a time to have a no-pressure, heart-to-heart about taking the steps to create what you really want in love and life. 



You don’t have to do this alone!


P.S. Have you checked out my podcast, Sexellence?


My husband Ian and I co-host and offer inspiring, educational and entertaining insight into love, relationship, sex and creating reality no matter what!


It would mean a lot to us if you checked out our podcast too J


Or subscribe on iTunes now


And if you like it, would you share and review it?

Means the world to us when we see reviews. 


Well, on iTunes they mean everything. Thanks!

















the worst thing you can do for you

Can you receive support in your life? Business? Relationship?


Can you go so far as to allow your lover to truly “take you?” 


Can you surrender? 


Surrender can feel like a stupid thing to do…

Receiving can feel quite scary. Both require vulnerability and a sense of self-worth.


And of course, having discernment on who or what we surrender to, but NOT receiving is one of the fastest ways to get stuck, burnt out and resentful. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Whether it is receiving from your lover in the bedroom…

Receiving money in exchange for your gifts…
Receiving ease and joy in your life…

It is ESSENTIAL.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

But, many of us have an edge around receiving, often because:

 we have been told it is better to give than receive⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
 we have been disappointed, betrayed and abandoned⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
 we actually have to “let the guard” down and let goodness in.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Receiving at every level has been my focus this past month – not out of entitlement or neediness but out of a desire to be in a place of deep nurturance, joy and goodness.

It has felt delicious AND terrifying at time.


This week on the Sexellence Podcast I speak to how I overcame a MAJOR block in my intimate relationship and received at a deeper level from my husband and lover.


I share what it has meant for me as a woman, my business, my marriage and even for my man.


I allowed myself to “be taken” – by love, desire, sexuality and my man.

It was wonderful 😉


One of the worst things we can do is NOT receive as it literally cuts off the flow of Universal energy AKA goodness, abundance and happiness.


If you are like me, and are you are a recovering “over- giver” then listen to How to Be Taken By A Man Episode 10 of Sexellence Podcast.

Listen now at



What are your thoughts, questions or ahas?

that time I almost blew up my life

“if you don’t face this, you will blow up your life.”

Words from a mentor earlier this year…#damnit

After #metoo, other events in the wider culture and some breakdowns in my own life, it was clear that I had some things to face.


  • Even though I had a best-selling book and successful businesses, I still felt “blocked” and frustrated – there was more, but what was it?

  • Even though I had a solid marriage and a good sex life, I was unconsciously holding onto anger and resentment toward men from my own past trauma, and I built walls with my husband that were slowly killing my marriage.
  • Even though I thought I was a confident woman, I was ashamed, at times, of my own clarity and sensuality and felt I should “shut it down” because I was “too much”.
  • Even though I knew my Purpose was to help women (and men) live without sacrifice, I was being polite and not owning all of it – especially the sensuality piece – because I feared judgment from the business community.

So, I dove in…

I knew I had an opportunity to break through, release and transform what deep down needed to be part of my evolutionary journey.

Which brings me to this moment…

Cracks continue to appear in “the foundations” within us and around us, and we have ever clearer choices on how we want to respond.

I am clear on how I want to respond…#nomorehiding

I wish to channel this through my heart in productive ways.

I know that healing the shame-filled, guilt-ridden and “hidden” within us is essential…and it can actually happen with ease and grace, and a few laughs, especially with the right support.

And it’s good for business!

In fact, I challenge the business masks and belief that we must separate aspects of our life and self –
that false belief that success in business/career has nothing to do with our sensuality, our relationship and our well-being.

This is one of the reasons why my husband, Ian, and I have launched:

>> Sexellence Podcast:
Your, Not So Dirty Secret to Great Sex and a Good Life <<<

We provide a place for the deeper conversation about sensuality, intimacy and connection…which are essential to abiding joy, financial success and self-expression whether you are in a couple or NOT!

In fact, reclaiming the gift of sensuality is the great secret to success and happiness that almost no one talks about. We do!

I’m hoping that if you are here you are also interested in creating more success, happiness and FUN in your life…and maybe, you just might be open to this kind of content…

If so:

>> Please check it out, Subscribe and leave a Review on iTunes

>> or Android

Share the Love – If you have a friend who could benefit, I appreciate you having the courage to pass on this email. Just forward this email. They might resonate with my message too. I’m Grateful.

That’s my authentic share, and why I have been a little quiet lately.

I am always dedicated to “walking the talk” and wanted to dive deep myself…I am feeling much better now 😉

I am thankful for your relationship, and I’d love to hear your thoughts…

  • Does “my share” resonate with you?
  • What questions, challenges or situations do you struggle with?
  • Are the “usual” things not working?

  • What would you like to hear more about?

There’s 5 Sexellence episodes for you to binge listen to including:

Ep.1.            What is Sexellence + Why Sex Matters 

Ep.2.            Til Sex Do Us Part – How to Overcome Dry Spells + Disconnection

Ep.3.            Amplifying Desire – Exposing Internal Blocks to Great Sex

Ep.4             Bedroom Boredom – Firing Up Passion Again

Ep.5.            Technique Doesn’t Matter – 5 Things MEN Must Do for Explosive Results

my secret bank account [trigger warning]

At one point in my marriage I had a secret bank account with over $40,000 in it.

My husband, Ian, had no idea.

I believed I always needed an “escape plan”.

And, money was a contentious issue in our marriage, combined with the fact that neither Ian or I had any idea how to talk about it without a massive blow out.

I am NOT saying that a girl should not be financially secure, in fact I am a huge advocate for every single woman having access to her own money, but for me, that secret bank account was – well a secret – that was coming out of fear, mistrust and anxiety.

And living with secrets really SUCKS.

I did come clean and tell Ian about that bank account and in fact we used it as a down payment on a house…a way better investment…

but it showed me where I had some major fear, shame and mistrust when it came to money, men and marriage, and that I needed to learn how to talk about money.

Healing that and learning those skills was one of THE MOST POWERFUL things I have done for myself and my marriage.

Ian and I now talk about money with ease and grace, and more importantly there are no secrets or lies.

We are on the same page which feels amazing.

Money is a charged topic in our world and in marriage, and most of us never learned how to make peace with money and certainly never learned how to talk about it.

Money is the #1 cause of divorce, and overall stress.

This has to change, and I believe it’s essential that we don’t pass on these horrible habits to our kids.

We have to be the one to say this shit stops here!

You can…

This is a personal invite to join myself, and Ian on an 8-week journey in the How to Talk About Money, Sex and the Kids Without a Fight Program.


ü Imagine NOT having any shame, secrets, awkwardness or        resentment when it comes to money…in your marriage or any area of your life.

ü Imagine feeling confident, clear about money (sex, the kids and other “charged”) topic without feeling awkward or having secrets.

ü Imagine knowing how to ask for what you want, and actually get it – without manipulation, massive meltdowns or making yourself small!

We Know This Works

We want as many people taking this training because we know it works, and it literally changed everything for us.

We now have a rock-solid marriage, sensational sex life and we became self-made millionaires – because we were ON THE SAME PAGE and there are no more secrets.

We have a shared vision, plan and are actually living our dreams together, without secrets.


We have Early Bird pricing on right now – save $1,000!!!!!!! (only until July 31, 2019)



It’s a get what you want course…and learn the compassionate skills to do so.

Because YOU, can be the one who takes the leadership and love in your marriage and any relationship!

Join us NOW.

We begin August 1, 2019…and in 8 weeks your money life could be drastically improved…

Imagine this autumn being a time of true abundance, ease and joy!!

We look forward to working with you soon.

Much love,

Shasta + Ian

P.S.  Check out all the details for How to Talk About Money, Sex and the Kids Without a Fight NOW